Miley Dumps Twitter; World Keeps Spinning
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Just so all you `player haters` don’t think that I ain’t down with the 4-1-1 on what’s really inane and unimportant… Miley Cyrus suddenly dumped her Twitter account last week, to the dismay of her two million-plus followers (if you don’t know what Twitter is, ask your 12-year-old).
The middle schools were abuzz with the rumors… did her boyfriend make her drop it because she was receiving too many direct messages from hormonally-enraged teenaged boys? Had she developed a heretofore unknown disease of the thumbs?
Actually, she (very maturely, I think) realized that `Twittering`– which for the uninformed is utilizing a web service to send 140-character messages to other Twits, usually from a cell phone and about blowing your nose or watching TV– was controlling her very life.
I can personally attest to Miley’s obsession. No, I didn’t `follow` the girl but my 14-year-old did. Katie had Miley’s tweets forwarded to her cell phone, and Katie has one of those ring tones for text alerts that lasts about 30 seconds. Hearing that obnoxious little tune every four or five minutes was driving me insane.
Yo, Miley, I’m with you, girlfriend. Twitter can be addictive. There’s a 16-year-old cousin in the family who started having difficulty putting together sentences more than 140 characters long. Now she’s quit speaking altogether… she just wiggles her thumbs…
In case you have difficulty deciphering a little `white girl rap,` here are the lyrics:
Yeah, the rumors are true, I deleted my Twitter. Can you believe it? I got to two million. Then I said adios. I had to say goodbye and this little rap is to tell my fans why.
No it wasn’t because my friend told me to. Ya’ll know very well what you say I don’t do. And the reasons are simple, I started tweeting about pimples. I stopped living for moments and started living for people. Yeah you write what you’re doing, but who really cares, if I’m playing with Noah or just doing my hair.
Everything that I type and everything that I do, all those lame gossip sites take it and they make it news. I want my private life private. I’m done trying to please. I ain’t livin’ for tabloids. I’m living for me. No more emo quotes and no more fake feuds with Demi. I’m done with all that and the truth is I’m too busy.
Yeah, I gotta admit, I miss Dane Cooks tweets and I really like looking at Katy Perry and Britney. I might have some withdrawals, I was a little obsessed, but I’m peacing out and I’m leaving with this. Goodbye.
